My 24-year old daughter is crazy.

And I say that in the literal sense. Her method of handling this mother-daughter thing is out of whack. Let me give you a little background and we'll determine if she's crazy or I'm a loony old bat.

First off, I am a single parent. I didn't start out that way, but the divorce left my kids without a father. My ex-husband was one of those who felt if he couldn't have me in his life, he didn't want to be bothered with his kids. So, contact with daddy wasn't frequent. Both Jr. and Shawn (my kids) longed for the daddy that used to take them to the beach, even if he was a wife beater.

I didn't get in the way of their relationship--as much as I wanted to trash his name to them, I didn't. It took every ounce of my being not to dog my ex-husband out to the kids. I mean why not? I certainly didn't owe him anything. Me being nice to him was a luxury that to this day he doesn't understand why he still receives my kindness.

Wise words from my late grandmother caused me to allow my ex in the kids' lives. Otherwise, it was a wrap, I saw nothing they could gain by being around a person such as him. However, my grandmother explained to me, it was not my decision to make. She told me that Jr. and Shawn would have to get to know their father on their own. That they may get to know a different side of him that is not available to me as a wife. And that's ok, she said. If, Jr. and Shawn decide on their own, my grandmother further warned, not to be bothered with their dad because of whatever reason, that should be their choice. In other words, let the kids see their daddy. She told me what my ex and I have or do not have in the form of a relationship is separate from the relationship the kids have.

I say all of this because my 24-year old daughter thinks I can be manipulated because of some part of her childhood she claims to have missed with me. My daughter was a behavior nightmare as a teenager. Our disciplinary sessions had Jr. begging for his sister to just listen for once. But, my daughter always knows everything. She knows more than me, she knows more than you, and you cannot give her advice on anything. She won't listen. And when a person will not listen, then they must experience life at a costly price. My daughter used to tell people I did not love her as much as I loved Jr.

That's why I said she is crazy. See, she thinks I'm supposed to get up every morning and take her to work, as well as pick her up. I guess I have nothing better to do with my time than to take her and pick her up from work. She does not understand that once you become a grown person, with a significant other in your life, then mommy is no longer responsible for you getting to work every day. If you don't have a car, that's what public transportation is for. I do not run a taxi cab service.

In a series of recent late night text messages, my daughter continues to rationalize why I should take her to work in the morning. Instead of laying her head down and going to sleep, she wastes time trying to convince me to take her to work. Sure we stayed out late tonight, but you knew what time you had to be at work, it was up to you to say I'm ready to go. Besides, you were driving, we could and should have left a long time ago. But, you were not trying to leave.

Understand why I am taking the hard line on my daughter. This is the child who was the most disruptive, disobedient young person in my household who once told me, "I can't wait till I'm grown." Famous last words have come back to haunt her. This is the child who would skip school even after I would drop her off at the front door of the school. One who has been smoking and drinking since at least 14, courtesy of her father.

And now she wants me to pay attention to her, and provide her with mommy cuddle love whenever she wants it. Naw, smooth, it doesn't work like that. She is getting mommy love, but it is called mommy tough love. The kind of love you hate to give because it hurts you more than they know, yet you know you must give in order to further the growth of the 'child.' Yes, I say child because she hasn't really shown me that she is an adult yet. Sorry baby, it's the truth.

Up until a few years ago I used to let my daughter run guilt trips on me. She attempted to make me feel bad because of the amount of time I spent with Jr. Jr. was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at 9 months old and began taking insulin at that time. Many, many times I would be up in the middle of the night either rushing Jr. to the hospital or trying to keep him from going to the hospital. Jr. and Shawn were two years apart, so when they were young, it was very difficult having a life that didn't have restrictions.

Being a fair mom, if Jr. had to eat healthy food, and do healthy things, then we, as a family should do those same things. Shawn didn't like all of those things. She began going her own way. Surely seeking to find herself, yet disturbing our household at the same time. Those teen years were tumultuous. My prayers then were, "Lord, don't let me knock Shawn out. I don't want to go to jail." By the way, I didn't go to jail. LOL.

In her last text message, still having to get the last word in, she claims I said I would take her to work. I didn't say I would take her. She assumed it. Even leaving her badge in the car. When asked why are you leaving your badge, "because you're taking me to work." No, I'm not......because this is Teasas World. Thanks for reading.

TweetIt from HubSpot


Post a Comment