No one has seen Rihanna since she was assaulted by Chris Brown. Yes, I said it. Chris Brown beat Rihanna up! No, he doesn't look the type, but who does? When men beat their women, do you think they walk around with a neon sign announcing it? No, they manage to assilimate themselves very well into the normalcy of things. That's the irony of it all, the men who beat women go on with their lives as if nothing happened.

I can speak to this, because I am a survivor of domestic violence. Being a survivor does not mean I dislike or hate men, it just means I'm experienced so I know what to look for so fellas, if that's your thing, don't try it with me. I'm not the one.

However, I had to get to this attitude. I had to grow into the woman that I am today. The LaTease in 2009 would not even have looked twice at the man I ended up marrying. My sense of self is more secure, my purpose is not defined by my relationships, rather my relationships are exist because of my purpose and direction. Being self assured is roach killer to an abusive man. Those types will not look your way if this is how you, as a woman present yourself.

One of the things wife beaters/woman beaters do is to possess you. Not just physically, but mentally as well. If someone has you believing your thoughts are worthless, then you will be less inclined to speak up for yourself, therefore leading to further abuse. My saving grace was a strong sense of self. All while my ex-husband was trying to beat my self esteem out of me, there was tiny voice telling me I was better than this. You have to get away from him.

I can't tell you how many times I concocted getaway schemes that went awry. Then of course, there were the numerous times I would leave, and then come back. I'd come back because he would bring me flowers, or other expensive gifts to convince me to come home. He'd always lead with "I'm sorry..." But the deal clencher were the tears. My ex would end his performance with a long line of tears.

Streaming down his face, I couldn't stand to see a man cry. That was then. No more. The tears must have purpose, other than to convince me you are sorry.

But, the Rihanna thing is of interest to me because she is so young. And the statistics are pointing toward an increase in domestic violence being done to young girls 13-19. Rihanna is 19. She is also in a position of authority and power. Rihanna has the power to provide power to the plight of domestic violence victims.

I read in the St Louis American that the hospital Rihanna was in said the police were so concerned with her injuries at the scene that they rushed the singer to the hospital in the back of a squad car. According to the article, Rihanna lost consciousness at the crime scene.

The article goes on to describe more of her injuries, but I don't want to dwell on that. I want to pray that she physically heals well, and that her heart and soul are in the right place and that she does the right thing. No matter what that thing may be. The St Louis American also reports that Chris Brown and Rihanna began arguing because of suggestive text messages being sent on Brown's phone.

Rihanna is said to have snatched the phone from Brown to investigate the origin of the text messages. At this point, Brown must have pulled over, and turned the car off in an attempt to get his phone back. Rihanna is said to have snatched the keys and pretended to throw them out of the window, something she had done in the past.

This attempt to throw the keys out of the window must have set Brown off because that is when he began hitting Rihanna. Hospital sources say Rihanna was choked to the point of unconsciousness in addition to having a busted lip, bloodied nose and severely bruised eyes.

If this information being reported in the St Louis American is true, then Rihanna suffered a beating that no one could ever forget. She will live with that night for the rest of her life. It will haunt her until she gives up the ghost and forces it from her life. If not, that ghost will destroy her.

I'm not speaking much about Chris Brown because there isn't a lot to say. He needs help. He needs something. Maybe if Rihanna had some big brothers out there...

Thanks for reading Teasas World. What do you think? Leave your comments below or Tweet it on Twitter. The little birdie thanks you..

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Jane Doe said... @ February 15, 2009 at 9:23 AM

I'm a survivor of domestic violence as well and you're right, abusers possess you, devour you, until there's hardly anything left. Luckily I had a strong support system composed of family, friends, and a fantastic domestic abuse advocacy agency that helped me to leave my abuser for good. I pray that Rhianna, and all those living with domestic abuse, have a strong support system too.

Teasas Tips said... @ February 15, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Praise God you were able to leave and survive to tell your story. Hopefully whatever went on that night spurs a change in both Chris Brown and Rihanna.

Anonymous said... @ February 21, 2009 at 1:49 AM

I love the way you wrote this, it's so fluid with such clear and strong points. Kudos to you as a writer LaTease!

Thanks for helping sort through this horrible story. I really had not given the story much attention until I read your blog. Now I'm hoping for the best for Rihanna, and that lessons will be learned.

Teasas Tips said... @ February 21, 2009 at 11:54 PM

Thank you Anonymous..I appreciate the warm comments you left me. Keep reading and giving me your feedback.

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