I know this may seem like a dumb question, but...

What happens if you pray and you don't feel or see God anymore?

The reason I asked is because the other day a friend asked me to pray with them because they were tormented. So as to keep their troubles safe, I will not go into what was wrong with them, only that they are truly afflicted.

I know we all have our own idea of who or what God is in our lives. And I know we allhave our way of worship; and that worship is a private thing. But have you ever thought what would happen if God failed to show up when you needed Him? That if He didn't hear your cries, what then?

Would we give up hope and do dastardly deeds and acts? Would we then become doomed to a life in purgatory? What would happen?

Honestly, I don't know. I feel better knowing there are angels watching over me-taking care of seen and unseen dangers on my behalf. See, I must believe this, without belief there is no faith, without faith, there is no hope. I need something to hold onto especially in times like these. My strength doesn't come from me; it comes from my belief in the Almighty.

Believing that God would save me is what has brought me here today. Let me share a short story with you.

My ex-husband was a crack-addicted, physical abusive critter. He would beat me just because he didn't like how his day went. I still have scars on parts of my body due to his beating me with whatever he felt like using.

We had two children together, a son and a daughter. Our son, now deceased, was our oldest child and he remembered some of my beatings that I had chosen to forget. One day he reminded me of the time when his daddy hit me over the back with a chair.

One night while feeding the kids, my ex came home from an all day crack smoke-a-thon. He wanted me to give him more money so he could continue his descent into the lower levels of life. I refused to give him the only money we had that was well hidden from him.

He grabbed a serrated edged blade, known back then as a 'Rambo' knife and threatened to kill the kids and me if I didn't tell him where the money was. At that time, I felt death on me. I knew that I was going to die, it was an eerie feeling. A darkness came over me, telling me it was the end of my life as I knew it. It felt like pure evil.

I gave in, deciding that I wanted my children and myself to live. When he realized I was going to give him the money, he put the knife down. I had a secret hiding place that I hid money, money that I was going to use to leave him. But, that night I made a choice to give him all $600 of it. That night I decided to try God.

When he left to go buy more crack, the kids and I left too. With only 45 cents in my pocket that rainy August night, I left with the hope of making a better life for us. I couldn't put my kids through that mess anymore. There wasn't anyone in the world who could help us, no men folk on my side of the family who would stand up to my ex. All I had was God.

Had I not listened to that little voice in the back of my head that night warning me, I am sure my children and I would have been murdered and another statistic of spousal abuse. But, I never lost faith. It's a lonely feeling when you don't have anyone who can stop the pain in your life. No other human being who can help you. That's why I held onto my belief, my hope that God would deliver us from evil, to paraphrase the Lord's prayer.

When you give up hope, you stop believing, you give up your faith in God. Don't ever stop believing, no matter how dark and painful your life may be.

So what if you made a mess of your life today, start all over tomorrow--keep trying. Don't ever give up. God loves you no matter what, he sent his only begotten son Jesus Christ to give a gift, the gift of eternal life. Take it, it's free.


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