While listening to author/radio host Warren Ballentine, he made a statement that stuck to me and actually gave me the idea to write this post.
Warren said his grandmother taught him: "don't fall in love with a stripper-someone that will strip you of your integrity, of who you are." (I paraphrased this from its actual quote.)
That statement made me smile and think at the same time. It made me think of dating, of men and how sometimes we women compromise ourselves in order to have a showpiece, a dating trophy.
Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm saying. Its real talk here family, the men who shuck and jive and don't stand like kings are the ones we are accepting. The ones that still live in the basement of their mothers' homes at age 40 and up. Come on now, we've met them, might even be dating them. Or the ones that have nothing to show for their existence when they have been on earth 48 years. Don't tell me I've been the only one working. I'm not trying to hear that brother.
Scripture says: "When they look, they won't really see, When they hear, they won't undersand." (Luke 8:10 NLT)
Here's the thing...
Recently, I was in the presence of some real men. Men who made me want to respect them even though their mouths said nothing. No words or sounds came from their mouths when we were introduced, just a feeling, a vibe that these were a together brothers. Men, who when they shook my hand upon introduction, looked at me the way I saw myself. How refreshing!
These were brothers who could hold their own in their own right. They didn't need me to validate their existence, their confidence and wherewithal told the story. What a blessing for God to show me what a king should look like.
No, he wasn't an actor or model. He was just a man who had been taught what a real man should look like, how he should present himself to the world.
His pants didn't sag, and I don't know if he was wearing Calvin Boxer Briefs or what. I didn't care. He gave me a queenly feeling just to be in his presence. Something that is missing and has been missing for some time with our young and some old black men. Its time for us to stop accepting riff-raff and to claim what is rightfully ours, what we deserve.
Where are these black men? Where do they hide?
Strong black women are looking for them, but instead settling on the pant sagging, I will get a job when the economy gets better, I'm just staying at my momma's house for a minute....and that minute ends up being, what years?
This is not a man bashing post. No, instead I hope to use it as an eye opener. Ladies, you need to open your eyes and stop settling. If he is worth your time, then you need to make sure he is worthy and acceptable in Christ's eyes. Jesus ain't looking for his butt crack or yours either...put some clothes on! It is not sexy to watch you try to walk with pants that sag. Where is the mystery?!!
See, this world is too accepting of nonsense. The things we should pay attention to, and address, we let slide. We don't emphasize the importance of the basics. I guess the simple things, the basics don't matter anymore.
No woman should take care of a boyfriend. By that I mean, no woman should have to go to work everyday and take care of a boyfriend who stays at home and smokes weed all day waiting on you to come home and buy his cigarettes. The KJV Bible doesn't say that's how it should be. I don't know of any Bible that does. My grandfather once told me as a child, that when he gets up to go to work, every able body in this house needs to be going somewhere too. Basically, when the sun rises, so should you.
I am not feeling a brother who when I go to work, he stays at home to watch the soap operas and judge shows. For me, a brother that doesn't even try, can't even make me physically desire him at night. I refuse to lay next to you and allow you to even sample my cookies if you ain't trying to bring home some butter. Work with a sister now.
If you as a woman, knows and loves the Word, then you will never go wrong in selecting a mate. You know why? Because, just like everything else God does, he will reveal it to you when He feels you are ready to take on a Godly man who is a king. But, only will this be revealed to you at the due time. That is, when God feels you are ready. God knows your heart, He knows it better than you think He does. When you are representing yourself as a Godly queen, then your king will come.
These words have been on my heart for some time because I sometimes struggle with living single. Often wondering when will my king come? I ask these questions of God, and what he reveals is "Teasa, you're not ready yet."
That just means I am a soul under construction, that I need to keep working on the things God tells me to. To be obedient to Him consistently, shows God that I will be obedient to my king. I know by writing these words some will say I am setting feminism back 100 years. Well, newsflash, I never signed up for that war.
As a strong, smart black woman, I have weathered many storms, lost some battles, and gained some scars. All of which has made me a better woman, a better person. I don't date MBA men exclusively, I look for some pretty simple, but basic things.
One of them is a pure heart, and a sense of direction with God being the captain. If that isn't first, then all we have is a casual acquaintance. See, I've learned through pain and experience that I can't make anyone over, they have to make themselves over the right way, and that way is through Christ.
See, I'm not following anybody who doesn't have a roadmap from God. I don't care if you are Diddy, or Kanye, if you don't have God, your money is no good here.
Give me a poor man who loves and is obedient to God, has a good heart, a sense of humor and is not married, I will show you a man worthy of my time. I put that last thing in there, not married, because a lot of them have showed up trying to convince me that they weren't married, just their wives. And I pray for them even in their ignorance.
So, ladies don't choose a man, let that be one less responsibility you have..yep. Go ahead and relax. Concentrate on being a lady, that's a job all in itself.
As women, we oftentimes wear so many hats that it becomes confusing. I know, I am mother, father, head of household, and more.
But, you know what? When I lay down at night to close my eyes, I am just Teasa. The Lord sees me as His daughter, a queen in my own right. And for every queen there is a king.
Just ask Barack Obama.
Comments, questions, concerns? Put 'em in the box below by clicking on the link "comments" in the blue box below this post. And thanks for reading Teasas World.
[8:41 AM | 0 comments ]